Again, I feel the need to share something funny from the local publications my family receives from Maine. These are a few of many “puns for the educated mind”.
- The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
- I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
- A rubber band pistol was conficated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
- The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
- No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationary.
- A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
- Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
- A hole has been found in the nudest camp wall. The police are looking into it.
- I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
- A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to the hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, “No change yet.”
- A chicken crossing the road would be poultry in motion.
- The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
- The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
- In democracy, it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism, it’s your count that votes.
- When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
Thanks to The Advertiser Democrat of Oxford County, Maine for bringing these wonderful puns to us!